Today is September 23, 2011. I am a teacher who is now a student, a student of Louise Hay. I'm not enrolled in a class of hers. In fact, I've only seen her "in person" once, on the Oprah show. (Love Oprah!) I still remember her vividly, though the show aired years ago -- petite, beautfiul gray hair, a calm demeanor, and a 100% assurance that we have control over our own lives with our thoughts which lead to actions and gifts from the Universe. I think I remember she had a rough beginning even into adulthood, and it wasn't until she started working with AIDS patients that she found her true calling.
Again, that was years ago.
Upon my second diagnosis of cancer, my step-sister in Washington sent me one of Louise Hays' books, You Can Heal Your Life. That was months ago. Just recently, I picked it up and started adding it to my morning routine: wake up, read a passage from a Christian meditation book, maybe write a few lines from that if I felt compelled, drink some water with fresh lemon, and walk the dog. Reading a chapter from Louise's book was added after the meditation book. Chapter 9 (I believe) pushed me toward writing down my affirmations, which led me to this blog today.
Being in year three in my fight against cancer, health is the first of my two affirmations. Upon Louise's suggestion, I wrote "I'm healthier than I've ever been" twenty times. As I wrote, thoughts -- more like words -- popped into my head. Water (I know haven't been drinking enough lately). Vitamins (I had to stop taking them two weeks before my surgery that was last week and I haven't restarted yet.) Walk. (Again, surgery) Tea (I am drawn to coffee, but know tea is so much better.) As I wrote my affirmation, my mind and body knew what I needed and it sent the messages loudly and clearly to me. Okay, I thought, I can do this. Thank you for keeping me focussed.
Then I switched to my second affirmation.
In total, my diagnosis has kept me out of the classroom for nine months so far, but will be closer to fifteen by the time I return. That means for fifteen months I've received a very small portion of my salary, whatever was left after my school distrcit paid my sub, usually about 1/4 of what I'm used to getting. Needless to say, money has been an issue for my family of four and a worry. As Louise emphasizes, as does my Christian medication book, worry is a waste. It sabbatoges my brain, taking as much as it can so there's little left for the positive thoughts. So affirming wealth, I know, is a crucial part of my recovery and part of me reaching my potential.
"I have so much money I don't know what to do with it, and it's fun." This I wrote ten times, not twenty like the other. Great line. But by the time I was on my second or third draft of the affirmation, I started having physical reactions. First, I felt my body suddenly get warm, as if I was suddenly being struck by a fever. My mind did send me a message during in the midst of the heat: write. Okay, I accepted that. The heat continued and I started sweating. Another message: rather than write in your journal, start a blog. As I was writing I argued with myself. I want to start writing today and it would take too long to figure out how to start a blog. I kept writing the affirmation: "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it, and it's fun." Another thought. Include Louise Hay's name in the title. Beads of sweat actually started dripping off my bald head. I large wall popped up in my head. You can't do that!
Okay, I know what's going on, I thought. I've read about this in her book. I'm blocking myself from accepting this abundance. The Universe, my mind, God is telling me what to do and I'm denying it. While I'm writng about abundance and receiving messages for it, I'm self-sabatoging myself minutes into this journey.
I know affirmations and especially imagery work. It's worked for me in the past. I need for it to work now. Hence, today begins my Louise Hay experiment. And ironcially, it didn't take me long to find a free blog site and figure out how it works. Maybe a total of three minutes.
For the next year, I'm going to become her student. I will practice her teachings, follow her lead, and let my life unfold as abundantly as the Universe allows. I can't wait to see how my new dream board unfolds. Thank you in advance, Louise Hay, for your guidance and wisdom and faith.
-Shannon
No comments:
Post a Comment