My whining yesterday was just that -- whining. My husband and I did have a bit of a conversation about it in the afternoon when he empathetically could tell I was being a bitch. "I'm only doing these last two rounds so that if the cancer comes back, you and my mom can't blame me for it and you'll think I did everything I could." He didn't deny it, and reinforced that he does want me to stay alive. That was refreshing. So, I made my way into Kaiser this morning with a smile and found an unexpected surprise. I Love Lucy was playing on the TV mounted in the corner, though no one had bothered to turn on the volume until I arrived. "Do you mind if I turn it up?" I asked anyone who would answer me, all of whom could have been my grandparents and all of whom certainly enjoyed I Love Lucy when it wasn't reruns. One gentleman answered and he laughed along with my husband as me until our names were called by our nurse of the day.
Penny, a sweet lady from the South who hadn't been in nursing too long, was my nurse of the day. Lucky me. She still forecasted my needs and followed through on them, just like a senior college quarterback aiming for the Heisman would forecast what the defense was about to do. "Does your vein hurt? Let me bring you these little hot pads we have." Funny. I'd never offered one of those before. "Honey, would you like some juice? Apple?"
"Yes, please."
"And let me get you some more of those hot pads." She placed them up my arm from my wrist to my elbow in case my vein was spasming. Thank you, Penny.
I continued my tradition of bring in two lottery tickets into my appointment, one for my chemo nurse to have and one for me. We always make the agreement that if one wins, the other gets $1million. With three more rounds left, my chances are dwindling. Yet when I win, it will certainly fulfill my second affirmation. "Riches of all kinds are attracted to me."
The riches I received today were the riches of friendship. I received a lunch invitation for Friday, a Bible Study invitation from an awesome new friend for next Tuesday, and a food delivery from a third, tried-and-true friend to get us through the week while I'm too nauseous to want to cook. And I followed up with the friend I typed about in an earlier post and we're scheduled to walk this week. Through all I've been through over the last three years, it's been reiterated to me over and over again that the greatest wealth is that of friendships.
No one would argue, the riches of money is nice. That's happening for me too. I received my pay stub in the mail for September. I was suspecting to receive just under $700 after my substitute was paid from my salary, minus taxes, union dues, etc. However, my check was a little over $2,000. WOO HOO! Thank goodness for bad math on my part. We were able to pay all our bills this month which was a great feeling. Now I need to attract the money to redo our backyard, probably about $15,000 to do it right, and an extra $5,000 for Tyler to redo the garage. Okay God, will you please bring enough money into my life so that $20,000 seems like a drop in the bucket. Thank you!
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